Wisdom?

There are a few folks who have called me wise. This always makes me chuckle
because I make huge missteps in my life at times. The other night I decided
to look up the word wisdom in the dictionary.

Again I found myself chuckling as I read through the definition of the word.
Much of what it said just did not seem to fit. I decided to look up the word wise, just to see if that would shed some light on things for me.

One line caught me, "to be aware". That is a powerful line. It is also the
one aspect that seems to fit with me and my own perceptions of myself.

I am aware; of myself and the world around me, of people and how they think and feel, of the unseen and often unacknowledged. I am aware enough to be aware that most folks choose not to be aware of much.

I have said for a long time now that I am awake, while sometimes it seems
that many in the world around me are sleeping. The word aware though, strike
me as more to the point. Awareness implies choice and work. Any "sleeper"
might be awakened, acted upon, by some outside agent or incident.

Awareness, though, is a choice of the individual. It is the choice to remain awake and aware, rather than drift back to the comfort of sleep and ignorance.

Awareness implies a willingness to learn and experience life in all it's
aspects, not just those that we think of as positive, but all of it. Even
pain, sorrow, and introspection which are hard and often ugly things are
part of being aware.

I realized as I was sitting there just how aware I am. I was taken aback by it.
I note exits when I am in a new place. I note people, faces, attitudes and groups. I can feel the mood of the place and purposely open up to it. I watch body language. I listen to the tones of voices. I watch for changes in both of those things. I watch other traffic as I drive. I listen and feel as much as I can where ever I am.

I am also aware of my own body. Through subtle shifts, I know when my mood is about to change,  when a migraine is going to strike. Hell, I know within the hour when my moon cycle is going to start.

I am aware of the unseen around me. I know when I am not alone, though my eyes would have me believe otherwise. Energies fluctuate and I prick up and feel what is around me.

I am aware of my limits. More to the point I am aware that I am the one who places those limits upon myself.

I suppose then if awareness is wisdom, I am wise.

There is a price for wisdom. That price is innocence. For, to be wise, to be aware, one must be willing to experience. With experience comes the loss of innocence and the burden of accountability.

To be wise then is also to be accountable.